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Archive for January, 2007

Radical Self Acceptance

Sunday, January 28th, 2007

My former brother-in-law and I are the same age and have known each other for 45 years. There have been some rocky times and even years that we have not seen one another. He was once an abusive alcoholic, and my sister left him after 17 years of marriage. Now sober for 30 years, he’s always supported her and their children. We have maintained a family connection; my kids call him Uncle.

Until recently, we saw each other infrequently; now we see each other three times a week, because six weeks ago he was stricken with Myasthenia Gravis. One week he was climbing Camelback Mountain daily and the next he was hooked up to a breathing machine. He is still in a Neuro-ICU; he’s off the respirator for several hours a day, can speak through his trachea, but still can’t swallow.

We have sat side-by-side, holding hands and talking (well mostly I do the talking, which I quite like) about the important issues in our lives. If you get struck down by a dramatic life-changing event like this, you cut through all the crap and talk about what’s real. The truth of where you are, who you are, and what you still want to be (or don’t).

Our discussions are not just existentially heavy. We also talk about what brings us the most joy, from the beautiful physical therapist, to being surrounded by the people we love. We talk about looking forward to tomorrow and what unfinished business we still want to take care of. I watch this strong, bright, competent, opinionated, hard-driving mirror of myself, as he teaches me about radical self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance is when you can look directly at the truth of your limitations and find a way to accept them and move on with your life. When we face our true selves we begin the process of changing our suffering into progress.

My brother-in-law called his son, whom he had seen or spoken to in eight years, and begged him to come see him. My nephew took a couple days to drive down so he could prepare himself for this confrontation after the great divide. Amidst the clicks, bells and whistles of modern medical technology, my nephew listened to his father whisper through the hole in his neck. His father apologized for the harm he knew had done, as well as the harm that he had done without even realizing it. For three days, my nephew listened to his father’s labored breath and shared his own truth.

Radical self acceptance is when you can look at the worst you — that person you know in your heart that you have never wanted to face directly — and take a step toward liberation. You don’t have to wait until you have to depend on a machine to breathe, before you look at the truth of your mortal limitations, and own them. Such radical self acceptance is the ultimate act of liberation.


We have known each other for 45 years, but in the last six weeks we have become brothers, and in the last week my bother and nephew have again become father and son.

Don’t Stop Dancing

Monday, January 22nd, 2007

Keep moving, stay active, and you’ll stay healthy. There is a global epidemic of heart disease, and exercise has been long advocated as both a preventative and curative. Getting older people to stick to such exercise programs has been proven quite hard.

At the American Heart Association meeting (November 2006), Italian researchers reported an effective exercise for cardiac rehabilitation patients to heal their damaged hearts: dancing, more specifically, waltzing. The researchers assigned patients to a supervised exercise training program of cycling and treadmill work three times a week for eight weeks. Another group was assigned to dance classes in the hospital gym for 21 minutes, three times a week, for eight weeks. A third group didn’t exercise at all.

It turned out that the dancers had the best cardiopulmonary fitness ratings after the study period. Heart imaging showed the dancers’ arteries were better able to dilate and expand in response to exercise. You know that part of the superior performance of the dancers had to be more than the aerobic exercise; it was also about holding somebody close. Staying connected to someone with your whole being dilates and expands your body and your mind.

I first heard about this power in the mid-sixties when an old Pueblo Indian medicine man said to me, “If you can’t dance, you can’t heal.” I heard about it again 20 years later when I met an elderly lady in a New York museum who told me the whole secret of life was to “keep on moving.” I wrote about this encounter in my book, The Theft of the Spirit, which I’ll briefly summarize. A tiny, well-dressed white-haired woman stopped me at the Metropolitan Museum of Art to ask me what time it was. I looked at my watch and said it was two o’clock. She told me that she had an appointment, but her friends were not yet here and, without pause, continued talking.

She told me she was never late for appointments; she had once been a docent at the Bronx Botanical Gardens, and on and on. I wanted to leave, but I could hear my mother’s voice whispering in my ear, “What’s the big deal so you listen for a few more minutes; she’s an old lady maybe she doesn’t have anybody else to talk to.” I’m daydreaming, when I hear her say, “That’s the secret of life.” Coming back into the moment, I asked, “What’s the secret of life?” “I said sneakers are the secret of life,” she told me. She pointed down at her feet and I saw she was wearing sneakers. “What do you mean?” I asked. Pearl said “Sneakers are the secret of life because they are only comfortable when you’re moving.”


Preventative medicine for the ages . . . don’t stop dancing till you stop breathing.

Pillow Angel

Sunday, January 14th, 2007

The whole world has heard about “Ashley,” a nine-year-old girl with Static Encephalopathy, a severe brain impairment that leaves her immobilized. Her parents are deeply committed to her; they call her “Pillow Angel” because she stays right on the pillow where they place her and shines her blessings upon them. Ashley is unable to walk, talk, keep her head up, roll-over, or sit up by herself. She does not speak or eat and is nourished through a feeding-tube.

When Ashley was seven she began to show early signs of puberty, and her parents became concerned that one day their Pillow Angel would become too big for them to lift, move, or take out. Doctors informed them of a treatment known as “growth attenuation” where they could permanently stunt her growth with drugs and surgery.

These parents have their daughter’s best interest at heart. They are motivated only by love and will care for Ashley the rest of their lives. There is no real question that she will be better cared for by her parents than by any long-term care institution, and she will probably live significantly longer because of that care. There is no doubt it would be easier for them to handle her in the future, so they decided to keep her small. All of the doctors and administrators in the Seattle hospital believed they acted in Ashley’s best interest and that she and the family were thriving.

Ashley’s case was reported in the October Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine. It described the ethical dilemmas, surgical procedures (removal of Ashley’s uterus and breast tissue), and the drugs being used to keep her at 4’5” tall and weighing about 75 lbs. for the rest of her life. The case has caused an outcry — groups from feminists to disabled rights groups are demanding an AMA ethics panel look into the case. I think this public discussion is wonderful and applaud the Seattle doctors for reporting the case.
This is the basic ethical question: Is it acceptable to perform invasive medical procedures on a person with a profound disability because it makes it easier for that person to be cared for? I cast my vote that it’s basically wrong; it can never be ethical to deal with one’s own (or society’s) comfort at somebody else’s expense; we don’t sacrifice others to save ourselves.

This is the new “Sophie’s Choice” of the scientific age. We have the technical capacity to alter the profound impact of nature’s “mistakes.” This is a slippery slope. Modern parents of severely cognitively disabled children (or profoundly physically disabled children) could feel pressured to have their kids undergo such procedures to avoid agonizing future choice about whether to send their fully grown child to an institution.


Ashley might have had breasts, periods, and weighed 120 pounds and her parents would’ve still loved her. They are great parents and would have done the best they could, for as long as they could, no matter what. Ashley would’ve done the best she could, for as long as she could too, and all would have felt blessed. Ashley is a Pillow Angel whose presence on earth teaches us something about compassion, respect, and the awesome power and blessing of love.

Lifestyles: Rediscovering Medicine’s Sacred Mission

Monday, January 8th, 2007

Are you burning out? You’re not alone. It’s clear that today’s doctors just aren’t as happy as they could be — or should be.

By Barbara A. Gabriel, MA
Physicians Practice spoke with a physician renowned for his sound advice and calm demeanor about how you can do the job you love and still remain sane.
An author, speaker, and Yale-trained psychiatrist, Carl Hammerschlag is a self-described proponent of “mind-body-spirit” medicine. He has authored three books (“The Dancing Healers,” “The Theft of the Spirit,” and “Healing Ceremonies”) that chronicle his more than 20 years living with and caring for American Indians, cultivating his expertise on how to survive within rapidly changing cultures. He is highly sought after as a gifted speaker and storyteller who has addressed innumerable audiences across the globe. Between speaking engagements, Hammerschlag maintains a small practice near his home in Phoenix, and he is a faculty member at the University of Arizona Medical School.
Physicians Practice: What originally attracted you to the practice of medicine?
Carl Hammerschlag: I suppose I was programmed to become a physician from the time I was small. My mother had great respect for our family doctor and viewed him with a kind of awe usually reserved for theological figures. … I was always interested in somehow working with people because I felt an obligation to make a difference.
PP: How did you come to practice psychiatry?
CH: I served in the Indian Health Services as an alternative to going to Vietnam, and I was seeing sometimes a hundred patients a day in clinics on reservations. I was like the proverbial shoemaker whose children had no shoes. I was working so hard I couldn’t even take care of my own business. It was exhausting. My wife was saying, “Hey, we need some time here as well.”
I was always interested in the workings of the human mind and thought maybe I could study psychiatry and learn something about why people behave the way they do.
I went into private practice in 1986. I still have a smaller private practice and I still see patients. It’s an unusual practice. I am different from most of my colleagues. For example, I do not carry malpractice insurance, so I do not have hospital privileges. But I feel it’s a very important statement that I choose to make to my patients. I tell them I don’t carry malpractice insurance, and I ask them to sign a form acknowledging that. I’m sure it’s not legally enforceable, but I want to make a statement about how I see the world, especially in contemporary life when the practice of medicine and the relationships between doctors and patients have become more adversarial than communal. It is my strong feeling about healing that doctors and patients need to be in it together. It’s a shared partnership — people themselves must become the principal agents in their own healing.
PP: What do you think are the chief causes of physician burnout?
CH: The prime cause for burnout among physicians is that there are enormous demands on the profession but little support or reward. Those are the elements that are the predicates of burnout. We live in a situation now in which the demands placed on physicians are intense. We have to see patients quickly in order to be cost-effective. There are payers that don’t renew contracts with doctors because they are seeing patients for six minutes instead of the four minutes the rest of the practitioners in their specialty average.
There is always an urgency to do more in less time — especially within the fixed-cost, managed-care setting. And so the expectations placed upon physicians are enormous. Yet we’ve always prided ourselves on relationships — that we have to make connections with people to heal them. The current atmosphere precludes making those types of connections.
Combine that scenario with an environment that dramatically over-emphasizes procedures and pills for anything that ails you. It’s further complicated by direct marketing to consumers by pharmaceutical companies that suggest that anything you feel has a pill that could cure you. … This has created the current atmosphere in which patients come and demand the drugs they see on TV. … If you want to sit and talk to your patients about what’s really ailing them, you don’t have the time. All of this colludes to lead to burnout. A lot of demand in the absence of any reward or support.
PP: Those problems are endemic to modern medicine, aren’t they? What can physicians do, given those realities, to avoid feeling alienated?
CH: I think they have to establish relationships with their patients, and I think you can do that by looking at them face-to-face. … Today, when many doctors interview their patients, they are simultaneously typing on a keyboard, so we’re losing that eye-to-eye contact. I think we can learn more talking to patients in five minutes face-to-face, eye-to-eye, than we can by having them fill out all sorts of questionnaires or entering their information into a computer while they are in our examining rooms. The critical issue is you have to reach out and touch patients in a way that touches their hearts.
The critical area of medicine in the future is not more pills and procedures, but preventive medicine. To do that, you have to spend some time with patients. Most chronic diseases are not better treated by pills and procedures, but by patients changing their behavior. From heart disease to diabetes to mental illness, to get well, patients need to shed stress, eat better, exercise more, drink less, smoke less — you get the idea. And in order to get people to change their behavior, you have to touch their hearts. That doesn’t mean you have to spend 20 minutes with them, but you do have to make a connection. I think you can do that in five minutes. I also believe it’s antithetical to good healthcare to tell people when they come into offices … [that they] can’t ask more than three questions … That interferes with relationships.
PP: But physicians are doing that because of the current realities of billing payers …
CH: Exactly right, and I think every practice has to make some decisions about what they can and can’t deal with. So I think that instead of an organizational principle that says at the outset, “If you have more than three questions, you have to make another appointment,” I think it’s much better for the doctor, looking at the patient face-to-face, to say, “You have a lot of questions, and I would like very much to be able to address them, and we need more time to do that. So I would like you to come back so that we can talk.”
Sometimes you need to take more time with patients. … I want physicians to feel good about that. Make patients feel that you care about them in a real way. In the current atmosphere, our patients are not sure whether we’re making decisions based solely on what it is that their carriers will provide or what’s in their best interest. And that is demoralizing to all of us in the practice of medicine — that our patients are no longer sure that we are making decisions based on their needs or on what’s covered and reimbursable. That distrust essentially distorts the most important element of healing — the doctor/patient relationship.
PP: Is there anything specific the average physician can do to maintain good relationships with their patients and still make a comfortable, relatively stress-free living?
CH: They have to ask themselves the question, “Is this what I want to continue to do, or can I find another way to practice?” If it doesn’t feel good, you can’t be doing the work effectively, and it will kill you. That’s the bottom line. If you’re working in an atmosphere that regularly steals your joy, it’s going to set you up to get sick. You’ve got to find a way to come to work every day with joy. … You have to find a way to feel good about your practice, and if that means you’re going to see patients for six minutes instead of four, then you have to find a way to charge them accordingly and see fewer patients, or you have to be willing to make less money.
And when you’re not working, you have to find some way to replenish your sense of joy. I don’t care how you do that, but it’s generally something that fills you with a sense of appreciation and awe. It doesn’t make any difference to me if you play with your kids, your grandkids, whether you go mountain biking, fly fishing, or just spend time alone reading, but you have to find some way to recharge your proverbial battery.
And practice in a community in which your ethics and values are shared. You’ve got to find a group that values what you value — or you’ll always feel like the odd man or woman out.
PP: How can physicians guard against their employees burning out?
CH: I think that if physicians feel better themselves, the people who work for them are going to feel better, too. Mahatma Ghandi had what I think is the greatest line when he said something like, “You want to be the change you’re trying to create in others.” If your employees can see in you what reminds them of what they like best about themselves and why they are doing this work, they will stay. People are desperate to do work that has meaning — to make a difference — especially in this culture. … People want to believe that the organizations in which they work and the leadership in those organizations operate from a position of some ethic of morality.
The work of medicine, the work of healing, is holy work. It’s a sacred profession, and the current atmosphere is stealing the sacred, because we’re always running scared.
PP: What keeps you enjoying medical practice after all these years?
CH: I love what I do, and I like to think I do it well. I see fewer patients because I can spend time with them. I’m a psychiatrist. I see people for an hour. I just don’t dispense pills. … But I had to supplement my practice by speaking, which is how I can afford to stay in business.
PP: You now practice part-time, while you also write and speak. Why did you make that transition?
CH: I knew that I was not going to be able to continue to enjoy doing my work prescribing pills and seeing eight hours of patients a day. … I kept that pace from 1986 to about 1990. And I was hospitalizing patients then as well. And then I found I was getting seduced into the ease of hospitalizing them because then I didn’t have to see them for 15 minutes; I could see them for shorter periods of time and it was still reimbursable under the standard rate. It’s so easy to get sucked in, and I could feel myself become seduced by it. This is not something that fills me with pride.
I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to give my patients the best I had, and I knew that if I could see four hours of patients a day, I would be much better. But to do that and keep my kids in school, I had to find some other way. So I did, and lots of doctors are also finding other ways. I would hope that they can do it in medicine instead of having to leave it completely and become entrepreneurs, because I think as a profession, everyone who enters medicine does so basically for wonderful reasons. We are a remarkable group of people who go into healthcare delivery, and we want to remind ourselves of that. And if we can feel that, then the people who work for us will feel it, too. We ought to work in a system in which we honor the sacredness of our profession. That’s how we can prevent burnout and turnover.
PP: Do you run a cash-only practice?
CH: I don’t take any insurance. My patients may or may not be covered, but that’s between them and their carriers. They pay me directly.
PP: Do you have a sliding scale?
CH: I do. If I see a teacher who is divorced and raising three children and making what teachers make, which is a sin in this country, she’ll pay me the same that she pays what it takes to get her nails done. So my scale slides enormously.
I also barter and trade. Somebody made the front door to my house out of stained glass — he happened to be a stained glass artist. There are people who send me cedar and sage; there are potters who have made pottery. … I had a patient who once painted the walls of my house in exchange for their psychotherapy.
I speak, and my fees are high. So I can do it, but you have to find a way to balance your own life. It’s critically important to find some balance. To achieve it, you have to pay attention to what you’re feeling inside. This is what I talk about. If you’re not feeling good, it will destroy you. The entire medical establishment gives scientific credence to what I’m telling you anecdotally. If you don’t feel good, stress hormones will break down your immune system and ultimately make you sick. It’s too big a price.
Barbara Gabriel, MA, is the managing editor of Physicians Practice. She can be reached at bgabriel@physicianspractice.com. To learn more about Carl Hammerschlag, visit his Web site at www.healingdoc.com.

Get Real and Heal

Sunday, January 7th, 2007

Doris and Ethel both in their eighties, share a room in a local long-term care facility, for people who have moderate to severe dementia. .They don’t know why they live there or quite how they got there, as a matter of fact they don’t remember a lot; not names or faces, and reality is sometimes elusive.

Doris and Ethel were nurses when they were younger; both lived through the Depression, World War II, lost husbands, have children and grandchildren. They are best friends and pass their days knitting hats and talking to each other. They never run out of things to talk about, and they love to knit.

It takes them a couple of days to finish knitting a colorful hat. When completed they are donated to the Salvation Army which distributes them at a homeless shelter. These hand-made hats are deeply appreciated, and sometimes Doris and Ethel get thank you notes from recipients that make them cry; they say this is their family. These two old ladies care for each other, and they are cared for by others. Neither of them will be cured of their dementia, but they are healed.

Healing is a spiritual expedition rather than a physical one, which is why we can be healed even if we can’t be cured. Healing is about connecting to something other than ourselves. It doesn’t matter if the connection is personal or if it’s cosmic, but it has to remind us that we are not alone on the journey. Healing is having the courage to see ourselves just as we are, and to find a way to come to every day with anticipation and joy. The process of healing has less to do with getting better, than it does with getting real.


Doris and Ethel remind us all, that if we care for somebody and somebody cares for us, we can live life until our last breath.

Dr. Carl A. Hammerschlag, M.D., CPAE is a psychiatrist, author, and professional keynote speaker. He is an authority in the science of psychoneuroimmunology mind, body, spirit medicine and speaks about health and wellness, healing, leadership and authenticity . He has delivered motivational keynote speeches to corporate and business clients around the world.