I’ve never gone to a reunion before; not high school, college, or until now to medical school. This was my 50th medical school reunion from SUNY Upstate Medical University in Syracuse, and I really wanted to go.
My adult life began in Syracuse; I got married during the Christmas break of my first year in medical school, and had two children by the time I graduated. We were a small class of 82 people and I knew them all. The last time I saw or spoke with any of them was 50 years ago, when we were freshly minted MD’s. We had survived the fiery baptism that is medical education, with its emotionally and physically exhausting workload, intense pressure, and horrendous hours. This is why physicians are more than twice as likely as non-physicians to kill themselves; some 400 doctors commit suicide in the United States every year, and many during their training years.
Before going to our reunion I wondered…would we recognize each other, could we reconnect with the intimacy of those initiation years. It turned out to be an amazing experience, and the reconnections were easy and intimate (after an initial delay in recognition, since the people we revealed on our nametags were taken at our graduation). About 1/3 of the class showed up (most still married to their first wives); we had become professors, researchers, and practitioners of every specialty.
We talked late into the night at receptions, outings, dinners and bars, where we laughed, cried, and reveled in nostalgia. I was surprised at the intensity of our bonding; perhaps it was the acute awareness of how much everything had changed… from our bodies to the neighborhoods. At the soul level we were still the same characters we always were, and seeing them all reminded me of how important it is to stay connected. Those people and places remind you of what you like best about yourself and that your story is not over; the final chapter has not been written, we are still writing new endings to our stories.
Go with joy on the journey and with my blessings in the Jewish New Year 5775.
Carl, the experience you described were just like mine at my 40th year medical school reunion and 50th high school reunion not long ago. A real sense of joyousness and a fading away of past competition and interpersonal hurts. I think we psychiatrists should generally recommend reunions for people; they can help put our lives in perspective.
At both of my reunions, the deaths of classmates were discussed, and at my high school reunion, a formal eulogy (by me, as requested) was done. Indeed, as you touched upon, one of my medical school classmates committed suicide during medical school. A brief time to express grief also seemed helpful.
May our reunions propel us forward.
Stevie
I am going to my 50th high school reunion the weekend of October 10. I had no close friends during high school, being what is now called a social butterfly, floating from group to group. Through Facebook, i have reconnected with over 30 of my classmates (out of about 400) and have developed strong friendships with a handful. I have been eagerly awaiting attending this reunion for over a year. I am going to have a ball! Steve Moffic is so right about as we mature, we lose our petty interpersonal hurts.
How wonderful that you were able to reconnect so intimately and enjoy your reunion time so much.
I have no plans of ever attending any reunions, so am glad yours was so joyful!
Reunions bring so much richness and strength.
I didn’t go to my college graduation. I was working and I couldn’t go. I go to my high school reunions. I will never go to my seminary reunions since my denomination took away endorsement for women to minister in an ordained capacity. The closest reunion I have is the Anneville Quaker Jungian conference. When I go there is a place of belonging for me. This November I am going to a runion for the Old Antarctica Explorers Association (OAEA) for people who went to the Antarctic with people like Admiral Byrd to look for Nazi Camps in 1946. My father did this. Since he died, it is my connection to his past and his friends, and I am a member only because he went as a 19 year old sailor.
My brother-in-law is a doctor. I am a writer who used to be a paid chaplain before my endorsement was taken away, and an unpaid chaplain for a few years after it was taken away. With my books, some male chaplains have told me I have become a chaplain to the world, and not to institutions. I wrote Fertile Prayers, Daily Fertile Prayers, so I would not commit suicide. Losing 5 babies after 12 surgeries, and many embroys was devestating to me.
You hit it right on the head Carl. I just attended my 50th high school reunion. It was a joyous weekend for all who attended. I can hardly wait until we gather again in 5 years. During the reunion weekend, we held a memorial for our only known classmate who died in Viet Nam. He had been buried without a memorial service and without military honors. It was a wonderful and long overdue memorial to our classmate & his service to his country. See the attached link describing the memorial.
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/woolley-635830-school-high.html?page=1